The "Karate" Kid?

This is something that's been bothering me for a while now and I've only now managed to get my seething rage under enough control to gather my thoughts into a semi-coherent form. The particular subject of my rage: The Karate Kid remake.

First, why remake it in the first place? The first one was fine. We don't need a remake, an update or a re-imagining. I'm beginning to think that Hollywood has already made all the good movies they're ever going to make and now all they can do is endlessly remake them into shitty modern facsimiles.

Second, WHY JACKIE CHAN?! Seriously, the man hasn't made a watchable movie since 2000's Shanghai Noon and even that's debatable. He's evaporated any good will he still had with the third Rush Hour movie and every movie I've seen him in in the last decade has been turgid and mind-numbingly awful. At least get someone who can bring a little dignity to the role; Chow Yun-Fat maybe.


Lastly, and this is the one that really chaps my ass, why do they insist on still calling it The Karate Kid if he's learning kung-fu? It makes no damn sense. Karate and kung-fu are not interchangeable disciplines. They are two distinct martial arts. If you wanna do a kung-fu take on the story, fine. Go ahead. But don't you call it The Karate Kid unless the kid is learning fucking KARATE!!!

Please, if you're going to change things to the point where they're unrecognizable, just make an new film. Don't try to bank on people's nostalgia for the original. You're just gonna make fans of the original movie pissed off and I, for one, won't blame them.

-Monchhichi